I want a boyfriend. But, in the meantime, I could be having sex with people. Should I? I'm 25, male, and I really, really want a boyfriend. What I really want is exciting, running through the rain, surprise picnics, fireworks, making stupid things for each other, big arguments, big reconciliation, initials-on-trees, naïve, ridiculous teenage love. I haven't had a relationship like this that's ever lasted more than a few months. I try to make a lot of opportunities to meet people, and a couple of times I have met someone I really, really liked, but they didn't want a relationship with me. So I keep looking, and going out with guys, and seeing what happens.
I have ended up dating maybe one new person every two weeks or so. And usually it becomes clear that it's not going to work for one reason or another, and that's more or less that.
But, I've been single like this for years, pretty much. And sometimes, you know, a boy's got to do stuff. For a while I felt pretty uncomfortable about having sex with people if I couldn't see it working out into a relationship. But now, it's not quite that clear cut. I had a few one night stands and felt good about it, and now there's a guy I'm seeing every now and then, just for a cup of tea and some good sex. He's a nice enough guy, and the sex is really good, but I don't want a relationship with him, and I think it's really clear to both of us that that's all it is, and it's fine.
This seems OK, but there are a couple of things on my mind:
If I get experienced sexually outside of a loving relationship, might this take away from the thrill of sex with someone I really love? Could I end up developing a taste for a variety of men, and find it harder to be satisfied with monogamy?
Or on the contrary, should I be making the most of this to experiment sexually and make the most of the freedom, before I commit to one person in a relationship - kind of getting all this out of my system?
If I rack up a fair bit of experience, am I literally fucking up my chances of ever having a sweet, romantic relationship?
If this has ever been you thinking all this, I'd be really grateful to hear how it all ended up. Thanks!
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